How Long Should I Let My Baby Cry?

How Long Should I Let My Baby Cry?

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Brad:                    Okay. We’re here.

Greta:                   Hey.

Brad:                    Hello there. We actually podcasted last night and we lost the recording, and so here we are. We’re going to just try to recreate last night’s podcast. What was funny about last night is we were doing our absolute favorite thing in the world while we were podcasting, and that’s eating Crab Rangoon. It’s always a good night once we get our six kiddos in bed and we finally get to sit down in our bedroom and relax. You know life’s good when there’s Crab Rangoon there involved.

Greta:                   But at least now you don’t hear the munching, right.

Brad:                    Yeah. Yeah, we had some wrinkly wrappers and some crunching, but we thought that that maybe just kind of added to the ambience of what’s going on.

Greta:                   Today, I’m going to make blueberry pie while we talk.

Brad:                    Yeah. We’re making blueberry pie right now, but that’s not noisy or anything. Today, we want to talk about a question we get so often. We get it all the time. How long should I let my baby cry?

Greta:                   It’s probably one of the number one questions.

Brad:                    Yeah.

Greta:                   It’s in the top three, for sure.

Brad:                    Yeah. Top three, for sure.

Greta:                   The thing about that question is it doesn’t really have a simple answer, so-

Brad:                    Yeah. It’s not just like, “Oh, here’s a one or two-sentence answer.” It can be if we have … We’re just dropping blueberry pie things all over the place. Don’t mind us. It can be as long as it’s the right thing to be talking about, but we have to discover and make sure that we have lots of different things done before we talk about how long your baby should or shouldn’t cry.

For example, it’s like if A, B, C, D, and E are done, then yes, F, you can do for x-amount of minutes, but we want to make sure that those other things are done, and there’s lots of context because our family-centered approach inside of our Sleep Accelerator Course, we use lots of wisdom. God has given us wisdom as parents, and we use that wisdom … Sorry, I just saved a whole bag of brown sugar from falling off the counter. God give us that wisdom to make sure that we are doing the right things in the right order at the right time.

Greta:                   Are we going to tell them what A, B, C, and D [crosstalk 00:02:55]?

Brad:                    Yeah. Let’s give them a couple of those things. Let’s drop some golden baby bombs here.

Greta:                   Well, and if you’ve seen our webinar, you know that I always say a good day makes a good night, so a good night starts with a good day. That’s like A, B, and C. That is you have to have a good solid routine during the day and … that’s going to set you up for that nighttime, and it’s going to set you up for the sleep training.

Brad:                    Wait, so you mean I shouldn’t let my baby cry at nighttime?

Greta:                   No. Well, you don’t start there. You never start [crosstalk 00:03:35].

Brad:                    If you don’t get anything out of this podcast, get this. Don’t start letting your baby-

Greta:                   Sleep training. Yeah.

Brad:                    Don’t start sleep training. Don’t start letting your baby cry at night. Huge mistake. Biggest mistake of all the cry it out or whatever, which we’re not by the way … more on that later, but biggest mistake of letting your baby try to teach himself to fall asleep is starting at night.

Greta:                   Right. We get people say all the time, “Well, I’ve tried that. I’ve tried letting my baby cry. It didn’t work.” One of the reasons it didn’t work was because they started at night, and baby didn’t know how to put themselves to sleep during the day first. They didn’t have that skill, so starting at night just made everyone frustrated, including baby and parents. Everybody just gets so frustrated, so we don’t start.

Brad:                    Right. Right. Because there’s a difference between teaching your baby how to do that and then letting him actually do it, because, look, babies are born with the ability to sleep, but they’re not born with the ability to put themselves to sleep. Okay. That’s second golden baby bomb number two here, okay. Babies are born with the ability to sleep, but they’re not born with the ability to put themselves to sleep. We have to teach them and we have to start during the day. It just won’t if it’s at night.

Greta:                   Right. Actually, nighttime sleep is a lot easier to achieve than daytime sleep, so we start when it’s hard. We do the hard work when it’s hard. During the day you’re able to cope better with any crying that might be associated with the sleep training, and then if they’re able to achieve that during the day, the nighttime is just a breeze. It normally just happens without any work at all.

Brad:                    Yeah. We get that question all the time. How long should I let my baby cry at night? If A, B, C, so if your baby’s fed and we know we have good full feedings during the day and your baby’s warm and your baby’s hand isn’t in the crib, and you’ve done some sleep training during the day, and your baby’s proven concept during the day a little bit, then you go towards the nighttime. You implement a pretty similar process that we teach at the nighttime to get your baby sleeping through the night.

Greta:                   Okay. If you’ve seen our webinar too, you also know secret number two, which is babies have to be taught sleep, not [bought 00:06:04] sleep. What does this means is that we have to teach them to sleep without any sleep crutches.

Brad:                    Ooh, sleep crutches. Sounds like a whole nother podcast.

Greta:                   Whole nother podcast.

Brad:                    Okay. That’ll be coming in an upcoming podcast, sleep crutches, but don’t start sleep training your child at night. Sleep train during the day. If you want to watch our webinar, The Three Secrets of a Sleeping Baby, go to Again, We’ll tell you the top three secrets of a sleeping baby, and we’ll even go over what it looks like to join our amazing Sleep Accelerator Course and get your baby sleeping through the night because that is our goal, and it’s amazing when that happens.

I think that’s all for today. We got to get our hands back into the pie here before something crazy goes down, but Greta makes the best blueberry pie you’ve ever tasted in your life. Maybe one day we’ll share that recipe. I don’t know. It’s probably too secret to-

Greta:                   Not my recipe to share actually.

Brad:                    Yeah, and it’s-

Greta:                   It was kind of a secret recipe that was shared with me.

Brad:                    Yeah.

Greta:                   Secret.

Brad:                    Yeah. We better not share that but, boy, if you could only see our kitchen right now. All right, guys, until next time, we’ll see you later. Bye, bye.

Greta:                   Bye.